I am not an outgoing person. I am not one to put myself out there to be judged by the world. I am not the individual that strives to be unique and stand out from the crowd. Yet here I am, preparing to photograph my fourth wedding- where I will be fun, loud, a social butterfly, and professional artist. Photography has brought out something in me that I hadn’t really anticipated, and it brings feelings of both finding, and losing myself.
I have been told that it is natural as a newly “established” photographer to not have a firm style, or brand. Yet I also knew that it is something that is necessary to find, at least at some point. The solution, I thought, was the hours that I spent pouring over blogs, the thousands of images that I have pinned to my “inspiration” board on Pinterest. I thought that by finding people and images to copy that I would slowly find my voice.
All the endless research that I thought would be invaluable, ended up just making me frustrated. I realized that there was absolutely no way that I could replicate any of those beautiful photographs that I had poured over (for literally hours). I was coming home from shoots so worn out because what I had in my head (and on pinterest) was definitely not what I was coming away with. Not only that, but the professional manner that I thought photographers were supposed to have, was not coming across at all when I got behind my camera.
However, what I began to realize, after dozens of senior, and a few wedding and engagement shoots, was that it’s working. My brand does not consist of the editorial and perfect photographs that I strived for. My interactions with clients on a shoot are goofy, fun, and at times totally weird. I am a strange, quirky, and socially awkward individual. But that’s ok. Being a photographer is about having a blast, making mistakes, and being 100% you. It takes endless amounts of work, but do you know what? I LOVE IT
If we’re talking technical, no, I’m not the best photographer. Truthfully there are days when I feel passable at best. But it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m working my hardest, I’m improving instead of copying, and I’m allowing individuals to connect with the real me, it can only get better from here.
Finding my Place
Published on 07/28/15